against the grain

One thing about living here that I seem to never get used to is the noise that comes with living in close proximity with other human beings. Although our apartment is over 30 years old and quite structurally sound so as to insulate the racket of neighbors coming through the walls and floors, we still hear goings-on around us through open windows and doors. What I never like to hear is our neighbors shouting or screaming at each other. It grates the ears and rubs nerves until they are raw, especially when it happens on a daily basis (one particular family we've dubbed the Screamers, as it seems to run in the family). It amazes me at times when a shouting match has gone on for a particularly lengthy period that I have to fight the urge to shout back at them (my other solution would be to just play these sounds out the window, loud and clear!). But I never do, only because I know it would only exacerbate the problem.

One evening when the whole family was going at it with the little ones screaming themselves hoarse and the adults not doing much better, B suggested that we pray for them. In my head I knew he was right -- so many deeper issues are going on and Satan has been wreaking havoc within this family. But in that moment, it seemed so unnatural; I didn't know them. I didn't know what they were fighting about. They were the ones who were bothering me; I just wanted them to stop.

It wasn't until later (when I could hear myself think again) that I realized what B proposed was so counter-intuitive that I didn't even want to do it. And in fact, most of the things God tells us to do are not inherent to us. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, we have no capacity in ourselves to love our neighbors, to submit to our parents, to cherish our wives, to respect our husbands. But the beauty of the gospel is that because of Christ, we are empowered to do what does not come naturally to us.

A couple weeks ago B and I attended a marriage seminar entitled "Love and Respect" with three other couple friends. Although there was never anything earth-shattering to me about the truths I heard, I knew that given the wisdom I found I now had the responsibility to carry it out in my life. It's easy to think or say "I will do this" but when one gets to the thick of the moment, when the ingrained self-preserving instincts and emotions kick in, the question to me becomes "WILL you?"

Will I be humble? Will I obey the commands of my Savior? Will I stop from barreling down my own path of inborn justice, and turn the other way to the good and the right of my other half, or my neighbor, or even my enemy?

Jesus saves. He heals and He renews. Only because of Him do I know the right thing to do is to pray for my screaming neighbors, to be compassionate to the unlovely of the world, to be respectful to my husband. And only by Him will I be able to push against the grain, to drive diametrically opposite the culture, and live it out in my life.

the un-lovely

I have been waiting and watching for what to blog about -- lately I have been going through a sort of life-inventory and self-evaluation that at times can be a bit trying -- anyone know what I mean?

Both B and I have taken the first steps and "inaugurated" ourselves into service at church. B has already translated for two sermons and I walked out of my shell and played for service. Being teamed with the pastor's son was a blessing, and for a moment there after the singing had ended I could feel the slight tingle of knowing God's presence with me -- not so much in playing well, but in playing with my heart -- a moment of a kind of Shekinah glory, almost.

But what I want to tell here is not that we have been good and praiseworthy, but perhaps to share a struggle and give challenge to myself.

On Saturday we were practicing for worship; inside the church were just the three of us -- B, Pastor's son, and me. We left the church doors open, as we are wont to do, because it leads right into the street for passersby to know we are there and feel free to stop by if they feel so inclined. Well, one lady did stop by, to our surprise and my consternation. She is the lady I have seen on spotty appearances Sunday mornings, the sight of her frightening me because her looks are not like others. Diminutive, hump-backed, toothless, and hobbling, it seemed in her movements unpredictable what she might do next. She came speaking of something but none of us could quite make out her slurred speech, which came out along with not a small amount of spit. She shuffled to each one of us in each point of the room -- even I could not hide behind the piano -- and came so insistently as she shared something that none of us could fully understand. As she stood there next to me I could tell something had disturbed her and I felt ashamed of my own insensitive fears. Swallowing pride and prejudice, I took the example of Pastor's son with his kindly, sympathetic face and listening ear, even though neither of us are very good at comprehending Taiwanese. In the end, she made her last round to each of us and starting with me, began to pray. I do not know what she prayed for, but when I finally realized she was praying as she put her wrinkled hand in mine, I was rebuked. Who knows the faith of this little woman, who claps so loudly and out of rhythm during praise and comes to church although her movements do not come with ease? Surely the world shrinks back or laughs and scorns her each day, and should she not find comfort and solace in the open sanctuary of saints?

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. But each week at service I see the world's unlovely and come to realize that the unloveable is what's inside my own heart. I only think that the role-reversal of this woman praying for me was in fact as it should have been. I am the one who desperately needs more of Jesus and more of His love. !

Langkawi picture post

B and I took the opportunity of overlapping breaks during CNY and flew to our belated honeymoon! Here are some highlights from our trip!

This was walkway up to the first chalet we stayed at. It was so peaceful!

Sitting area

 

Huge windows and a huge bed! They recently remodeled so everything was new and shiny. Except the floorboards felt a bit thin and creaky.

I wanted to take this bathroom home ^^

I got sick as we were heading out so the first few days we had to take it easy. We got to order room service and this was a delicious chicken soup that B ordered for me. We definitely felt spoiled!

This is the view from the place we breakfasted.

Our rainforest chalet from the outside

The beach! Envious yet? ;)

After our maids found out we were on honeymoon, we returned to our room with this on the bed =)

B's Nasi Lemak

We had to scope out the local nightmarket. I was excited to see durian even though I had no intention of buying one.

But I did buy durian sticky rice! It was pretty good, but a little overwhelming to eat just by myself since B refused to touch it. :P

B got this to eat. I think this is Nasi Lemak with a lot of chili sauce.

Nightmarket scene.

The next day we took a cable car ride, which they claimed to be the world's steepest.

The pictures don't show clearly how high we went, but I believed it after taking the ride!

A view from the top. We were high up!

The resort had a lion dance in honor of CNY. I tried to duck away into the doorway to the restaurant on the left, but it turned out to be a bad idea because that is right where they were headed!

We decided to try some local food from a food truck.

They set up tables and stools right by the beach!

This is what they were selling. Veggies and noodles in a sauce, accented with some fried crullers. It was pretty good but the sauce got to be a little inundating after a while.

We took a boat ride tour of a mangrove! I didn't really know what a mangrove was before. It's like a thick forest of thin trees that grow where salt water is present.

The scenery was beautiful. We saw a bunch of eagles and the boat captain threw some chicken into the water and got them to swoop down for us to watch.

Horseriding in the jungle and by the beach! So much fun. My horse kept wanting to be in front while B's horse kept wanting to stop and eat things.

Halfway through our trip we moved to a chalet on the water. It was so pretty!

They gave us cake and fruit! (we actually had two sets of this because we stayed in two rooms) :)

A view from our balcony

 

Monkey family! These monkeys are white-spectacled, since they have white rings around their eyes like glasses.

This is my favorite monkey picture from the week. Look at the baby holding onto the mommy's tummy!

Can you spot the sand crab?

At low tide we found the beach littered with these curious designs of tiny sand balls leading to tiny holes. We discovered the sand crabs poking out of the holes and later learned that the balls are a product of their feeding as they sift through the sand.

 

Breakfast with freshly squeezed pineapple juice

B learned how to drive on the other side of the car/road.

Public beach Pasir Tengkorak

Black Sands beach, where the sand is not so black anymore

But the black sand we did find looked a lot like 黑芝麻沙 so I wanted to eat it.

Bridge to a Waterfall

Waterfall!

Lattes at breakfast

Our last night we had dinner at one of the resort restaurants, Pahn Thai. It was built right on the water

The view was as gorgeous as the food was delicious

A stunning sunset for Valentine's Day

I got a pretty rose which I tried to bring it so carefully back with me, but the customs official said it wasn't allowed back in Taiwan. I was very sad.

B took this amazing picture with his little point-and-shoot. I think it sums up our time at Langkawi pretty well. <3

welcome aboard

 

The Sunday after this post, B and I left for church early in anticipation of meeting my students at the MRT station nearby.  There we met two of my students, Stacey included, and discovered that the other two would be arriving late, so we went ahead. 

It was a Christmas service and a guest preacher speaking, but at the end of the day both Stacey and the other girl expressed that they were very happy to have come. The other two came at the tail end and stayed for lunch. I was thrilled that they came at all. The next Saturday we met up for lunch and I invited Stacey to come back to church. She wanted to come but was held up at work the following Sunday. It's been so exciting to befriend these students and see what God might do in their lives through our interactions. I especially hope that Stacey will begin to come regularly and have a chance to talk with the pastor who has dealt with cases like hers (dealing with undesired supernatural spirit encounters).

After my friends left church that Sunday, Pastor Terry talked with us about the spiritual battleground and the vigilance and dedication required to bring souls out of the bondage of darkness and into the Kingdom of Light. "Welcome aboard," he said. 

And it felt like a small but significant initiation had taken place.

Best of 2012

Birthday goals

Before my birthday last year, I wrote down some goals/things I wanted to do before my next birthday. I didn't accomplish all of them, but the ones I did I feel pretty happy about. Below are those things taken directly from my list:

1. Get married and enjoy every minute of it
 There were a few times I forgot to enjoy the moments of the process of getting married (getting to the rehearsal was pretty hectic), but after reminding myself to slow down, take deep breaths, and leave it up to God, the joy came right back! Something to remember for everyday, not just during wedding season.

3. Blog at least once a week
Okay, I kept this up for about half the year. But I think that's still pretty good.

4. Fall in love with a new music artist
Yes! And they are...
Katie Herzig;  (especially her album "Waking Sleep," which has accompanied me on innumerable commuter trips on the highway since we forgot to bring other CDs with us) (link to Midnight Serenade; I ABSOLUTELY LOVE what they did with the toms at about 0.618 into the song...turn up the bass amp!)
All Sons & Daughters (not to be confused with Sons and Daughters)

5. Write three songs
I wrote two plus a handful of poems
 
7. Make a whole meal for my family
Did not do this single-handedly, but doubled up with B in our dream-team to make dinner for our parents

8. Visit the East coast of Taiwan
Had a great time! I want to go back! More on this later
 
12. Play for a coffeehouse
Didn't make it to a coffeehouse, but I did play an opener to our church's Christmas outreach.
 
13. Make new friends
Yes. I would say I made more than a few new friends this year. At school, at the university, and at church...it's been a wonderful year for making new friends!
 
15. Take a roadtrip
To Kenting with B

16. Be better at keeping in touch with friends (email or skype)
Still room to grow, but made myself a little more intentional this year.
 
17. Grow in my prayer time.
Ditto above...


Since 2012 is drawing to a close, I wanted to do a recap of several of the highlights it brought. In all the joys and sorrows that have come, it's been a very epic year, which I had an inkling it would be (if not just in the fact that this is the year of the Dragon).

 

2012 highlights

Best Adventure:
Taking a trip to Hualien (on the East coast of Taiwan) with my sister. Sometimes I am incredulous in looking back that I planned everything, from booking the hotel to buying the train tickets, but it's true! Both of us had never been there before and were quite taken by the rugged, tropical beauty of the place, in spite of the poor weather. We took a cab tour of Taroko and biked along the trails at the base of the mountains. Next time, I will plan to go when it's not typhoon season!

Best Meal Out:

One sunny Saturday before summer break I went out to do some last-minute gift shopping with my friends before we were going to leave for the States. We ended up in Siziwan and stopped at a restaurant called Escape 41 for dinner. The back patio of the restaurant sat right on top of some craggy rocks and the rolling waves. We had pizza and mango slushes -- it felt like being on vacation at an exotic destination!

Close second: My birthday lunch at Tavola's, another pizza joint. I loved the quality of their food and they weren't stingy with the calamari or the cheese! I think it's my favorite western restaurant in Kaohsiung now.

Best Dream Come True:

Our wedding was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be. (Except maybe the weather and the number of guests we could invite...) Everything worked out perfectly; from the decorations to setup to the food to the music to all the people helping out in different ways. After thinking and planning it for so long, it was such a bittersweet feeling as the whole day panned out just as I had imagined it to be. God is so good to us.

Best Realization:
My sister's MOH toast made me realize that not only was I married, but I was being ushered into the adult world, like it or not. All throughout this year this realization has settled into my brain, that now I am solely responsible for cleaning up my messes; that I am the one making the calls on how I use the resources I have. That I am, virtually, on my own. It's somewhat scary but somewhat rewarding at the same time.

Best Surprise:
I'd definitely have to say that my bridal shower was one of the best surprises of the year. My friends were in cahoots and led me on to believe we were celebrating my roommate's birthday, and when we went back after dinner to the apartment to have cake, A TON of people were there waiting to shout SURPRISE! I screamed and went into hysterics, hid in a corner, and was utterly confused for about 1 minute.

My birthday would come a close second, though -- I was expecting to have a nice lunch out with just B, but when we opened the door to the restaurant, my friends' grinning faces were there to greet me as well!

Best Book:
I read "The Great Gatsby" in anticipation of the movie's arrival next year. I finished it in two days!

"The Namesake" would be second place. I love Jhumpa Lahiri's poignant insight into third-culture kids and their families.

Best Purchase:
My Tatung rice cooker! I use it almost every day, not to cook rice but mostly to heat things up (we don't own a microwave) or steam vegetables.

Best Discovery:
I found our neighborhood morning market while we were running errands one day. B let me out of the car to explore and I was so excited to find such a local place to get our groceries. Since there are so many different vendors that come and go on different days, it seems like I am constantly making new discoveries there! 

Best New Friend:
We've met a lot of wonderful people this year, not only with our moving to a new environment but also with people God has divinely appointed us to meet. In the middle of this semester our school was graced by a lovely young lady from a school in Indiana, here to do her student teaching. She showed me what it looks like to actively love others and bring joy to their lives. I was so honored to get to spend some time with her before she had to go back. 

Best Decision Made:
To be content and joyful where I am, with what God has given.

Best Recipe Tried:

B and I really loved these black bean stuffed sweet potatoes, but I was also super pleased with the taste and simplicity of these chicken enchiladas!

Best News:
Before B and I boarded the plane to Taiwan three days after the wedding, my sister took me aside and told me a secret...she was EXPECTING!!! It was so hard to contain my excitement. It's not a secret anymore so I can say I'm absolutely thrilled to welcome my niece to the world!!

Best Lesson Learned:
This past semester has brought a few challenges and questions to the way I teach and my vision for the music program at school. The lesson is that I need to take ownership of my classes, in what I teach, how I teach it, and who I teach.

So with that, my goals for the coming year of 2013 is  to resolve to teach with vision and direction and be a more intentional, courageous teacher.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year full of God's blessings!